Special Recent Posts

My Partner Won't Come to Counseling with Me? Now What?

I get a lot of distressing phone calls from individuals who have had a major event or relationship disaster that has shaken them to the core. They desperately want to work on things, and have taken the brave step of contacting me, but aren't sure their partner will be on board with coming to an appo[Read More...]

Couples Communication Skill: What Do you Want for Dinner?

How many times have you asked your significant other what they want to do for dinner, or what they'd like to do this weekend only to come up with a bunch of stuff they don't want to do? Who out there has asked the house to be less messy, or the garage to be less stinky, only to be met with something[Read More...]

Couples Skills: Sample Script for Conversations instead of Arguments

Many of the couples I see have some difficulties slowing things down and tell me they are in a conversation one minute, then before they know it, they are fighting. Does this happen to you? Do you know how to pinpoint where things are going wrong and steer them in the right direction?  For folks tha[Read More...]

What to Expect in Couples Counseling with Brady Counseling Solutions

What to Expect in Couples Counseling with Brady Counseling Solutions It is normal to have some anxiety over what may happen when you work with a Couples Therapist. I've laid out some general guidelines that I operate from to help you learn about the process. 1. I work collaboratively with co[Read More...]

Apologies and Forgiveness

All relationships have better times than others, and all humans make mistakes. The strength of a relationship is not in the absence of conflict, nor the absence of mistakes, but rather in how quickly the couple is able to get back on track. This takes communication, trust, an emotional bank account [Read More...]

Couples Skills: Conversations versus Arguments

Most of the couples I work with identify communication as their number one goal to work on. I'd like to spend a bit of time today talking about the difference between having a conversation, and having an argument. In a conversation, both people are engaged in taking turns listening, validating, [Read More...]

Couples Skills: 50 Tips to De-escalate, Deal with Flooding, Take a Break and Self-Soothe

In a previous blog, I addressed some of the reasons why a partner might get "easily overwhelmed" and shut down during an argument. We discussed flooding, understanding what it was and why it is important to take a break from this highly stressful, diffuse physiological arousal state in which we have[Read More...]

Couples Understanding: My Partner Gets "Easily Overwhelmed" In Arguments. Help!

Many couples have at least one partner that gets overwhelmed during an argument, and may begin to shut down, want to change the topic, or leave the conversation or building. Possible reasons include flooding, conflict avoidance, stonewalling, fear of anger, fear of an unpleasant or inappropriate beh[Read More...]

Validation Series: How to Validate, even when you Disagree (3 of 3)

In the two previous validation series blogs, we discussed the definition and importance of validation and by contrast, how destructive invalidation can be. We discussed how validation is not the same thing as agreeing, and although it is minimal on the scale of tolerance, it does wonders to build he[Read More...]

Validation Series: How Invalidating your Loved Ones is Damaging Your Relationship (2 of 3)

Emotional invalidation is when a person's thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged. Invalidation includes dismissing, minimizing, teasing, diminishing, or otherwise telling someone that their internal experience is wrong. It includes saying things like "That isn't how it happened," "N[Read More...]

Couples Communication: 13 Tips to Develop Emotional Intelligence

In today's blog, I will be discussing emotional intelligence and 13 tips to help cultivate this skill. Emotional intelligence is defined as the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to[Read More...]

Heartbreak: Processing Break-ups, Divorce, and the End of a Relationship

As a Therapist who specializes in Couples Counseling and Relationships, I often see individuals who come to me after a break up with the goal of processing the relationship. If you have ever had your heart broken, you know what an intense, raw, and emotional experience this can be. For this article,[Read More...]

Validation Series: Why Emotional Validation is Crucial to Your Relationship (1 of 3)

Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person’s internal experience as being valid. It is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. You do not need to agree or approve of someone’s feelings in order to offer v[Read More...]

Checkpoint: Am I "That" In-Law? Identifying Problematic In-Law Behavior

In my Couples Therapy Private Practice, a frequent topic of heated arguments is balancing families of creation with families of origin, negotiating different expectations with two sets of families of origin (or more) with one family of creation, managing in-laws, traditions, expectations, boundaries[Read More...]

Sex Education: The Pleasure Principle Pre-Test

What messages have you received about sex? Where did you get these messages? Did the knowledge you received line up with your real life relationship and intimacy experience? In my experience,  sex education and pleasure education leave much to be desired. The general public receives a lot of misi[Read More...]