Affair, Infidelity, & Recovery Counseling

Infidelity is perhaps the most sensitive, difficult, and painful of relationship problems. It commonly causes feelings of betrayal, anger, hopeless, resentfulness, and fear in both people. These feelings are very natural and to be expected. Sometimes the less expected happens. Once it is out in the open some people feel relieved, hopeful, and/or ready to put it behind them. Whatever feelings you have, it is okay to have them. To benefit from counseling all you need is the desire to work with your partner to repair your relationship.

Kara and Tim were married for 6 years and described their relationship to me as generally good and emotionally close. They came to me unsure what to do with their marriage when Tim discovered Kara’s infidelity. Tim was devastated to find out about the affair. He did not see any warning signs and did not think there were any problems in their relationship, certainly not that would lead to this.

Time didn’t want to lose her, but was not sure he could forgive Kara let alone know how to move forward. He came with feelings of anger, frustration, confusion, betrayal. He felt like he had really been taken advantage of. He wondered how he could ever trust her again and if things were beyond repair.

Kara was remorseful and wanted to get things back on track but didn’t know how to rebuild trust she had lost. She also didn’t want to continue to be blamed and shamed for her error in judgement.

We worked very closely to identify strengths and vulnerabilities in each individual and their relationship. We focused on honoring each person’s feelings and circumstances. By developing a high-level overview plan and specific strategies that they both could work on together and individually, Tim and Kara were able to rebuild trust, connection, and physical intimacy back in their relationship.

This was not an easy process, but today they both have expressed feelings of relief that the affair did not break them apart. Tim and Kara feel strong about their future together and are planning to expand their family.

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